Allegory of the cave

What have I done with my life? If I were to die tomorrow, would I be satisfied with the life I've lived?

I don't know, and I can't say for certain. I have many happy memories. Looking back on it all, it starts to feel like I didn’t spend much of my life truly living. But I got there eventually, didn’t I? It took some time to figure things out for myself, but one day I stepped into the world for the first time and felt the warming light of the sun.

And that's how the world fell apart. I couldn’t go back to the illusion of a life I had been stuck living in for so long. I was here, but I wasn't truly present. I didn't make friends, I didn't get to know people, I didn't make memories. I lived my life in a cave, staring at shadows on the wall and pixels on a screen.

How long was it? And when did I see the sun for the first time? Who was it that held my hand and brought me out into the real world?

Is that why I've craved that so badly for so long? This vast world with its blinding light… It is as beautiful as it is haunting and scary. The sun doesn't always shine here, and sometimes the night is as dark as that cave I had lived in for so long. Sometimes that darkness makes me crave the comfort of loneliness again.

One day, I found myself all alone in this new world; nobody by my side. Nobody to hold my hand or guide me further. I wanted to run away. It was the most vulnerable I've ever felt in my life. It was like hanging over the edge of a cliff, and feeling your fingers slip through the hands of your friends pulling you up. And you're left to wonder as you fall, did they let me go? Was I too heavy to carry?

And I fell, and I fell, and I ran and I ran. I just kept running, trying to find my way back to the cave. But it was no use. Even if I had found my way back, I could never be satisfied now that I'd seen the world. It was up to me to find a way. Nobody was coming to save me.

This brand new world was as beautiful as it was dangerous. Feral creatures lurk in the bushes, and every step forward felt like nature itself was standing against me. But no matter how worn the path was, no matter whether it was the rain or the sun, no matter what beast stood in my path, I needed only to keep moving forward.

Yes, this world is beautiful, so beautiful that I'd rather die under the boundless sky and the stars than in a barren and empty cave. That was my final choice.

So, has it been worth it? Am I willing to keep moving forward even now that I've seen so much of this world? The good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

It's true, the sun doesn't always shine its light on us. It's true that dark clouds cover the sky and blot out the stars from time to time. People vanish from your life or betray you. Love dies. Nothing lasts forever.

But it's still worth it. Because no day in the sunlight is the same as the last. Every day brings something new. Every path leads somewhere different. Every person brings new experiences and cherished memories, even if we don't walk together for long.

I choose to keep walking forward because I was granted this privilege, to exist in this world under the stars and heaven. Even when it's dark, even when it's lonely. Every battle, every bead of sweat and every drop of blood is the cost that existence demands of me. And I pay for it without any further reluctance or doubt. It is worth every bit of suffering when the sun rises and its light breaks through the clouds again, when paths intertwine and the next leg of the journey is a shared experience, when we win the next battle, when we overcome the next obstacle.